How to Deal With Anger
Anger Problems and Issues
1) What Causes Anger
2) When Anger Becomes a Problem
3) Ways to Control Anger Problems
4) How to Release Anger
5) How to Deal With Anger
Anger is a totally normal state of emotion. It is a part of our nature; all we have to do is learn to express it in a healthy manner.
Although everyone gets angry from time to time, it becomes a problem when people start to lose control over it. The Consequences of losing control while under the influence of anger can be devastating. Poor anger management can lead to destructive activates, depression, relationship problems and self-destruction. I will show you how to deal with anger.
Before I try to help you, let me quickly introduce myself. I am a psychologist and for the past six years I have been helping people with anger problems. Check the about me page to learn more.
What Causes Anger Problems
First of all let’s go through some common elements that cause anger.
· Stress – Going through stressful situations can be frustrating. It causes us to often lose control over our actions. The best method is to find an activity that will help us release it. While going through tough situations trying to deal with anger is not easy, but it is possible.
· Being tired – Either when we get a lot of work to do or just don’t get enough of sleep. When we are tired we don’t think clearly and can be easily irritated. Cut on the work and make sure you get enough of sleep per day. Energy drinks and coffee are not a solution. Leads to bad brain function and stress.
· Keeping feelings inside – One of the most important aspects of relationship problems. Keeping everything inside and not letting it release. Find someone close to talk to and explain to yourself that you have to share your feelings with someone. It will let you feel a lot better. Leads to communication problems, makes us feel lost and causes stress.
· Feeling misunderstood – When we feel like nobody understands us we easily close up. Being misunderstood is a tough situation to be in, but opening up and talking to somebody will make it better. Like above it basically leads to communication problems and stress.
· Failure - It is a normal thing in our life to fail. The most important aspect is to just stand up and try again. You will fail thousands of times in your life span, just understand why it happened and try again. Never give up. Not understanding failure can lead to everything above.
When Anger Becomes an Issue
We already established that this emotional feeling is normal and that everyone experiences it. Anger becomes a problem when we lose total control of it.
· Violence – If you lose control and you become aggressive it is a huge sign that you might be having anger issues
· Destruction/Self-destruction – Destroying your own or someone else belongings, making yourself suffer physical or emotional pain is a sign an anger issues.
· Over Drinking/Drugs – Goes in the category of self-destruction. Using substances such as alcohol and drugs will help, but only in the short run. In the long run you will feel miserable, and probably continue to abuse those substances. There are other ways to release your anger, than slowly killing yourself.
· Criminal Activity – Going into criminal activities to try to release your feelings is not the best idea. Stealing, fighting, destroying isn’t a solution in the long run. It might be a sign of anger problem when one is particularly looking for such situations.
How to Deal With Anger
We already established causes and when it becomes a problem. There are many tips to controlling anger that I know of, but here are some that I noticed to work best. These tips will not help you release your rage; they will help you keep it in check and under control.
When you feel yourself losing it take a deep breath, stop everything you are doing and inhale slowly counting to 15.
While doing this, think of the origin of your anger and if exploding will really help in this situation. If you are confronting someone or your partner the second best option would be to explain to them that you are getting angry and would like to go for a walk or take a “breather”.
You might start feeling the anger building up when doing some kind of work. Best option in such situation is to just do it later and do something completely opposite of what you were doing before.
Consider if your anger makes any sense and try to change it into something amusing. I noticed that changing negative feelings into positive is not as hard as it seems. When you start to boil inside, change your emotions into something humorous. Your anger issues can be controlled.
How to Release Anger
So how to deal with anger? The best solution is not to get angry, but we already know that it is just not possible. You already learned how to control your anger when it comes out, but we still need to release it. First of all I noticed two kinds of people:
· Physical Active – People that easily release their emotions when doing some kind of physical activity. I found out that for male: weight room or some kind of fight classes like martial arts or boxing work best. For female: running, swimming and bike riding seemed to bring in the best results.
· Mind Active – For people who don’t specially like physical activates. Anger issues can be solved by painting or writing a simple journal. Also starting your own blog might be a good idea. For small portion of people faith was also a factor. After they started believing in something bigger, they became a lot more calm and positive.
The most important part is to pick an activity that fits you. Everyone is different, but you need to have a place where you can let yourself go. For example sexual intercourse is a very important aspect of positive thinking and a happy life. Find something that helps you release your spare energy and make sure you like it.
Anger Issues – Conclusion
As you can see anger is a totally normal feeling, but becomes really dangerous when it gets out of control. There are two very important aspects that will help you out in the future:
· Be self-aware – It is a very important ability that everyone should possess. The concept is very simple: you should know what you are thinking, feeling and why. A good example is a baby, he/she doesn’t know any better. They are not aware of what they feel so they act out of nature. We as adults or teens are capable of being self-aware. So next time before your get angry, notice what you are thinking and feeling.
· Stays in control (self-control) – You might have heard it a lot before – think before you act. Give yourself an option to think about your emotions before taking actions that you might regret.
Anger problems do not need to be permanent. You don’t need to poison your body with any pills, just make sure to take responsibility for your own actions. If you will still be having hard time think about an anger management course. Find the causes of anger and fix it. Start taking action today and get rid of your anger issues.
Anger Issues Resource:
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